Ask me no questions
by strwbrygrl77
Summary: "I hadn't consciously run to her but . . . we needed to talk. I wanted answers." Post-mole episode. What might have happened if Kurt had gone to Jane after his argument with Sarah.
_A/N: I LOVE this show. This one shot wouldn't leave my head after this most recent episode about the mole. What if Kurt ran to Jane after his argument with Sarah? We know that won't happen on the show since Jeller is 'end game' - so that's why we have to settle for fan fiction!_

 _Written in 1st person from Weller's POV. I own nothing but the storyline. This is my first Blindspot story so no flames, please._

* * *

I felt like I was drowning.

After the way the day had started and progressed from bad to worse with everyone on my team under suspicion for being a mole for the Russians and the forceful taking of Jane from the office – it was amazing things had worked themselves out in the end. We had reached Jane in time – had warned her in time and Jonas was dead.

Then why didn't I feel better? Why did I feel like the earth was crumbling under my feet? Why did I feel like every single member of my team was hiding things from me?

Jane had become downright secretive and evasive ever since the night Carter had disappeared – and my gut told me she knew more about that than she was telling any of us.

Reade and Sarah had been seeing each other for God only knows how long – long enough for it to be serious – long enough that this couldn't be swept under the rug. It was going to get ugly.

Mayfair – I hadn't trusted her since the whole Project Daylight affair came out in the open. Who knew what she was still hiding.

I didn't think Tasha was hiding anything from me – I knew how nervous she got about taking those damn polygraphs. But I couldn't get the image of her wide terrified, deer in the headlight expression out of my head. Was it possible that she was keeping her own secrets from me as well?

* * *

" _Kurt, what's wrong?"_

Sarah's words rang in my ears as I ran down the dark city streets, dodging puddles and the few people still trying to make it home after a long day of work. I felt terrible for taking the day's stress out on my sister – but my concerns about her and Reade's relationship were well founded. I wanted her to be happy, to find someone to make her happy and to be a good father for Sawyer – but not someone like Reade. Not someone who ran into the same dangerous situations and risked not coming home same as myself. Sarah and Sawyer deserved so much better than that. I had tried to take care of them, protect them the best that I could, but I knew that the likelihood of me not coming home one night was high – that as much as I wanted to protect them, I couldn't protect them from the people who were out to get me and wanted me dead. And that was a long list – a list that grew longer every week. And I didn't want them to be targets on Reade's list as well.

I stopped on a street corner to catch my breath and realized that Jane's house was just two blocks away. I scrubbed a hand over my face. I hadn't consciously run to her – but I knew I couldn't go home in my current state of mind and I was soaking wet from the recent rain shower. I needed a place to dry out, calm down, and talk things out with someone that I trusted. And even though she had been distant and acting strangely, Jane was still the one I trusted more than anyone else right now. Besides, we needed to talk. I wanted answers.

* * *

Jane wasn't home.

I picked the lock and tried not to wince as the alarm went off. I sprinted to the panel, silently praying that she hadn't reset the code. I entered the four digits and waited for the noise to cut off, but nothing happened.

"Fuck!" I swore, and keyed in another four digits.

Nothing.

"Come on, Weller. Think! What numbers would Jane-" I snapped my fingers and entered the year of her abduction. The alarm fell silent, and the flashing red light changed over to the steady green light. "Too close," I muttered, as I toed off my shoes and began to strip off my wet clothes. I left my boxers and undershirt on, but I gathered my shirt, pants, and socks in a bundle and headed for the back of the house to the laundry.

I was in the kitchen some twenty minutes later, browning sausages in a skillet when I heard the unmistakable click of Jane's weapon. "Are you hungry? These will be ready soon."

"Damn it, Weller! This is my house – you have no right – what are you – how did you get in here?"

I moved the skillet off the burner and turned it off, meeting her eyes for the first time. "I'm an FBI agent, Jane – I have ways-"

Jane engaged the safety and shoved her gun into the back of her pants. "You broke in."

I popped a piece of sausage into my mouth. "Do you see signs of forced entry?"

"How did you know the code? I changed it."

I shrugged. "I know you."

Jane's temper flared. "No, you don't. You think you do, but you don't. You knew Taylor Shaw, the little girl next door but you don't know the woman standing in front of you now – I don't even know her!"

I took a step towards her. "Jane-"

"Don't call me that!"

My own temper rose. "Well, what do you want me to call you, then? Taylor? I tried to call you that in the beginning and you flinched every time I said her name –"

Jane's eyes dropped from mine. "I didn't think you noticed."

I lifted a hand and this time managed to make contact with her shoulder. "I noticed. There's very little about you I don't notice, Jane."

She shivered under my hand and moved away to snitch a piece of sausage from the skillet. "So what are you doing here – in my kitchen – in your underwear?"

I flushed. "Uh, yeah, sorry about that. I left my place in a hurry and got caught in a downpour. My clothes are in your dryer."

"So you didn't go out like that?"

The corners of my mouth twitched but I kept the grin from forming. "I try not to get arrested for public indecency if I can help it."

She studied me for a bit before she repeated for the third time in a soft voice. "What are you doing here, Kurt?"

My breath caught at her use of my first name – something that she very rarely used. I stepped back into her personal space, watching her dark eyes widen as one of my hands curled around hers, the other cupping her jawbone. "I wanted a moment that was just us."

I saw the fear and another emotion that was harder to define enter her eyes as the familiar words registered. Jane stiffened and tried to back away. "Kurt, I don't think-"

"Stop. Talking."

I heard one more slight protest pass her lips before they were covered with mine and then all I could hear was the pounding of the blood in my veins. Her hands came up to press against my chest in a futile attempt to push me away but I captured them in mine and brought them up and looped them around my neck, grunting as she wound them tight and hung on.

Compared to the first and second kiss we'd shared on the street a few weeks prior – this one in her kitchen was lightyears beyond either of those. Those kisses had been tentative, searching, and somewhat innocent.

This kiss was anything but innocent or tentative. Jane's tongue was already pushing against my mouth and I opened to her, my knees nearly buckling as she pushed her way inside, claiming my tongue with her own. I groaned and pulled her into me, letting her know how much I wanted her, wanted this, and felt her tremble against me in response. She broke away from my lips, leaning her forehead against mine, panting for air, her pupils dilated, her lips swollen, her cheeks flushed.

"I know I said this – we- were too complicated – but Jane – you have to know how much I want this – I mean you," I stumbled over my words.

She smiled and cupped my face in her hands. "I think you've made that very clear."

I groaned. "I'm trying to be serious here – while I still can be."

She blew in my ear before whispering. "And I think you're the one talking too much. I'm wearing too many clothes, Kurt. Are you going to fix that or shall I?"

My mouth slammed back down on hers and she matched me fire for fire. I felt like I was taking possession of her in that kiss – but I figured it was all right because Jane was staking her claim on me as well.

I have no idea how we made it to the bedroom. All I remember is Jane, the taste of her skin and the sound of her sighs. When we did finally collapse on the bed, both of us were naked and I rolled us to our sides so that I could take a moment to look her.

"Don't," she whispered, her voice shaky as her hands moved to cover as much of herself as possible. "Do you mind if we turn out the lights?"

"Jane, look at me."

She shook her head and buried her face in my chest.

"All right then, just listen. You are beautiful."

She snorted.

"I know you don't believe that anymore. All you can see is the ink – the messages that have been placed on your body by a person or persons unknown."

She stiffened in my arms. "Kurt wait-"

"No, I'm not done. If that wasn't enough, you were poked and prodded and scanned and all of us have spent hours looking at pictures of your body trying to decipher the clues-"

She lifted her face at last to glare at me. "Is this your idea of pillow talk?"

I shook my head and brushed a wispy curl from her cheek. "Just listen. Other people see the tattoos, but I see you, Jane. I see the woman who helps people – even before you knew about your SEAL training you went to the aid of that apartment manager's wife, remember?"

"I couldn't let her get beat up-"

I nodded. "Exactly. You're a good person, with a good heart, and you genuinely care about what happens to people – don't let some ink on your skin define how you see yourself. Let me show you how I see you. We've all spent hours and hours trying to decode the tattoos on your skin-" I leaned over and placed a series of kisses on her winged bird tattoo. "Let me spend a few hours tonight worshipping you."

Jane's eyes filled. "Kurt," her voice broke as her hands came up and wrapped around my neck. "I don't – deserve you."

I kissed her fiercely, not pulling away until she was moaning and writhing under me. "I think we've done enough talking for now – unless you don't want to do this? If you don't, Jane, you have to tell me now."

In a surprisingly fast move, Jane pinned me to the bed. "Shut up, Kurt."

* * *

Lightning woke me hours later.

I had no idea what time it was – I only knew that Jane and I had made love three times before we collapsed in exhaustion. I assumed it was still the same night – Mayfair would have sent Reade or Tasha to roust us out if we'd slept through the day. I turned my head and saw that Jane was awake, lying flat on her back and staring at the ceiling. Her face was dry but her eyes were red and I could tell that she'd been crying.

I reached a hand towards her and she flinched. "Jane."

"You should go."

I let my hand fall on the mattress between us. "What time is it?"

"It's a little after 3-"

"I have time then."

She shook her head, still not looking at me. "I think you should go now, Weller-"

I sat up, propping my head on my hand. "Oh, so we're back to 'Weller', are we? That's not what you screamed when I made you come six-"

"Damn it, Kurt!" Her dark eyes locked on mine. "Don't make this harder than it has to be."

I frowned. "Don't make what harder?"

She took a deep breath. "I'm leaving the FBI."

I lurched to a full sitting position. "What? Why? Because of what happened between us tonight?"

She shook her head. "No, I just – I can't go on hurting people I care about. You. The rest of the team. These tattoos are causing more harm than-"

"That's bullshit and you know it."

"I've made up my mind."

"So then what was this? A good-bye fuck?"

Jane flinched at the harshness of my tone. "You know it meant more to me than that. You mean more to me-"

Sick of her lying there and giving me apathetic answers, I grabbed her around the waist and drew her into my arms. "Then tell me the truth, damn it! Something's been going on with you for weeks, Jane, and I want to know what it is, right now!"

She shook her head and tried to push me away. "Kurt, no-"

I grabbed the sides of her head and forced her dark eyes to meet mine. "I love you, Jane."

Her mouth fell open in shock before she shook her head sadly. "No. You're in love with the ghost of Taylor Shaw – and I told you she no longer exists. I don't know who she is – I don't know who I am-"

"And you haven't heard a word I've said tonight, woman! I'm in love with you – not some memory of a little girl that I lost over thirty years ago. It doesn't matter to me if you turn out to be Taylor or not – I love you, Jane – the woman who has been working beside me for the past six months, kicking ass and making a difference."

Jane struggled in my arms and reluctantly I let her go. She scooted to the other side of the bed, pulling up the sheet to cover herself. "You wouldn't feel that way if you knew – not if you knew that I did this. I'm the one responsible for this whole mess, Kurt."

I shook my head. "I don't understand."

Jane shrugged her shoulders. "I don't either – Oscar's only giving bits and pieces-"

"Who the hell is Oscar?"

Jane's eyes fluttered shut. "Do you remember when I told you that I had memories of being engaged to someone with a tree tattoo?"

I nodded reluctantly, the very thought of another man touching my Jane in such an intimate way-

"He's been in contact – and he's confirmed that I am Taylor Shaw."

I had a hundred questions but I started with focusing on her. "How do you feel about that?"

"It still doesn't feel right somehow – not even when he called me 'Taylor'. I just don't – I've been having more flashbacks, remembering more but I don't remember 'her'. I still feel like 'Jane'."

I swallowed. "How did Oscar establish contact with you?"

She shrank back against the wall. "The night we kissed – outside your apartment – when I left, four men jumped out of the shadows and abducted me. They took me to a warehouse where Carter was waiting. He interrogated me – used waterboarding techniques-"

"The asshole," I snarled. "When I get my hands on him-"

"He's dead."

"You?"

Jane shook her head. "Oscar killed him. Carter was coming at me with a drill when Oscar burst in, shot the men and then Carter. He showed me a video of 'me' before the tattoos saying that I had done this to myself and that it was all part of the plan."

"What plan?"

"I don't know, Kurt! I honestly don't remember. And Oscar isn't telling me – he's just giving me little bits at a time, like telling me that I am Taylor Shaw and that we were involved in Project Orion-"

"Orion," I repeated hollowly. "The mysterious Orion word again. What is it?"

Jane shook her head. "He didn't say. He just said that I went off the grid and that it's where I 'died' – whatever that means."

I scrubbed a hand across my face. "So am I your mark?"

Jane flinched. "I don't know that either – in the video, I said this was my plan and I did it to myself but you have to believe that who I am now would never betray the team. I would never betray you, Kurt."

I looked at her for a long time, before nodding slowly. "I do believe you, Jane."

"You do?"

I nodded again.

"Why?"

"I told you once that it didn't matter who you were before or what you did – and I intend to stick by those words. I'll just have to trust that when you get your memory back, you'll tell me what the hell your plan was."

"What if I never remember?"

I grimaced. "Then I guess we'll have to rely on your man Oscar."

"He's not my man, Kurt."

"He's your fiancé-"

"No, he was Taylor's fiancé, not Jane's. Jane loves Kurt."

I smiled. "Why are you talking about yourself in the third person?"

She laughed. "Because I'm still having something of an identity crisis. What I'm trying to say is that it was Taylor who loved Oscar and was engaged to him. I'm not her, I'm Jane. I'm in love with you."

I had been creeping across the bed towards her the whole time she had been talking about Taylor/Jane and as she finished, I swallowed the last part of her declaration with my mouth. She pushed me back on the bed and straddled my hips, letting the sheet flutter to the side, and I groaned as her skin met mine.

Much later, she breathed my name softly.

"Hm?" I grunted.

"What do we do now?"

"Sleep."

She poked me in the ribs. "I meant later this morning."

"Go to work."

She poked me harder. "I mean about Oscar, Orion, and the fact that Carter is dead."

My eyes opened and met hers. "All right, first you'll set up another meeting with Oscar. He said he had a time sensitive tattoo to point out but you ran off before he could show it to you, right?"

She huffed out a breath. "I was upset."

I traced her jawline gently. "I know – but the tattoos are there to help."

"Fine, meet with Oscar. Should I tell him I told you?"

"Only if you can't keep it a secret or he guesses. I think it might be best for you to be a double agent for now – you up for that?"

"As long as you know that my loyalties lie with you, Weller." She traced a finger down my chest.

"Are you trying to distract me?"

She grinned. "Is it working?"

I kissed her bird tattoo.

She gasped out, "What about the rest: Orion, Carter-" she moaned as I hit a very sensitive spot.

"Stop. Talking."

"But-"

I groaned. "We'll play it by ear, one day at a time. You and I are in this together, Jane. You don't have to figure this out by yourself anymore, OK?"

She nodded. "OK?"

I rolled to my side away from her. "Now, can I get some sleep?"

She shrugged. "If that's what you want-"

"Thank you."

"But Jonas raised suspicions about me. Those won't just-"

I growled. "For the love of-" I rolled over and pinned her under me. "How do I get you to stop talking?"

She smiled. "Maybe one of my tattoos will give you a clue?"

I couldn't help it. I laughed out loud as I pulled her close and kissed her hard and full on the mouth.

This drowning man had been thrown a life ring. And though today was even perhaps more uncertain than yesterday, I had Jane, and that was enough.

* * *

 _A/N: If you think Weller forgave Jane a little TOO easily, well, she is his blindspot after all. Reviews are LOVE!_


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